Reflection -- That Sinking Feeling

Jesus was a bit exasperated.  The disciples had been with him for awhile.  They had already seen him perform several miracles.  Surely they had figured it out by now that he was not just another intenerate teacher.  If so, all that went overboard when trouble came.  They reacted out of their instincts.  They reacted to the life-threatening storm not with faith, but with fear.

I would like to be able to say that if I had been there, I wouldn’t have been afraid.  I would have instantly put my complete trust in Jesus. 

I would like to be able to say that, but unfortunately, it would not be true.  That boat the disciples were in is an all too familiar place.  I know, as you may know, how it feels.  Things are fine when it’s smooth sailing.  It is easy, in my mind’s eye, to look over to the stern and know that Jesus is with me.  I don’t have to worry too much about it.  I just take it for granted that God is with me when the sun is shining and life’s waters are calm.

Deep down inside somewhere I know that Jesus is not just my fair-weather friend.  But then a few clouds appear.  Then more.  Then the winds begin to blow.  It grows darker and more stormy.  Waves begin to break across the bow.

The storms that wash over us wear many faces.  Maybe I, or someone I care for, becomes ill.  Perhaps my relationship is in trouble.  Maybe there is a sharp disagreement that threatens an important friendship.  Perhaps someone I care about has vilified me unfairly or betrayed my trust.  Maybe I find myself watching helplessly as a loved one embarks on a pattern of self-destructive behavior.  Perhaps there is trouble at work that threatens my financial security.

Whatever it is, my eyes shift away from Jesus’ calm presence with me and the problem becomes my focus.  I get that sinking feeling; that feeling that disaster is near and that there is no way out.  Panic or despair are not far behind.

It is at about this time that I can imagine Jesus becoming exasperated with me too.  “Do you still not know that I am with you?  Do you still not know that I will not take you into any situation alone and unprotected?  Do you still not know that appearances and circumstances are temporary, but that my presence and my love for you are eternal?  Did you learn nothing when we weathered other storms together?”

It is about then that I feel rather like one of those three characters who follow “the yellow brick road” in L. Frank Baum’s children’s classic, The Wizard of Oz.   When they first meet the wizard, they are ushered into an imposing hall where they hear frightening noises and see a huge image of a fearsome wizard.  But before long, they find out that it is all done with smoke and mirrors and machinery.  The fierce and frightening wizard is really just a little man hiding behind a curtain.  With that discovery, they feel foolish.  They have been terrified by no more than insubstantial shadows.

This is not to say that all of life’s threats are as harmless as that little man behind the curtain.  Death and illness and heartache are all too real and painful, but they need not destroy us.  What makes the difference in how we handle them is where we keep our focus.  We can give in to that sinking feeling, or we can remember who is with us in life’s boat.  We can remember who is there to strengthen us and reassure us and get us through it.  We can remember who can give us peace and stillness no matter how threatening the wind and the waves.

Perspective comes when we recall that we journey with one whom even the wind and the waves obey.

revclay

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Mark 4:35-41

That day when evening came, [Jesus] said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." 

Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 

A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped.  Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion.  The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?" 

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!"  Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. 

He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid?  Do you still have no faith?" 

They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this?  Even the wind and the waves obey him!" 

[NIV]