Proper 19

This week I would like to share with you a reflection written by my colleague, the Rev. Gail S. Hicks, on September 12, 2001. It was a terrible time when one could wonder where God was and how God could allow such evil to exist in the world, but still we knew that God was there and grieved with us.

revclay

Preparation

Please begin by reading Psalm 35:17-28 in your Bible. If you do not have one at hand, we have provided that text for you at the end of this reflection.

Reflection--Where Is God When The Unspeakable Happens?

I sit here on Wednesday morning, the day after the unspeakable and incomprehensible attack on the United States has occurred. There is still a part of me that wants to deny what my eyes have seen both on the television and as I drove past the Pentagon on my way into work this morning.

There is still the visceral reaction in my gut and a deep hurt within my chest, which still brings tears to my eyes when I listen to the latest news telecast and hear how some in the Arab world rejoice and dance in the street in jubilee at my deep and indescribable loss.

I also have to deal with my own mixed emotions. There is a side of me, that which I am sure is shared by many Americans, that wants and demands revenge, that wants to wipe certain peoples and nations off the face of the earth. I am thinking that this will not only bring the revenge that I so desperately want and at some level probably need, but also I believe is needed to bring national healing.

This is the side of me which hurts not only because of the unspeakable reality of how vulnerable this great nation is, but because I am a military officer, retired but still a member of this nation’s military with over twenty years defending this nation, and this, I can not ignore. After all, I had worked in that building and still have numerous friends there. Friends that as of this morning are still unaccounted for and their safety is far from assured.

But there is another side of me, that which says that despite this or anything else that can happen, and as some terrorism experts predict, may yet occur at some unspecified time in the future, looks to God and cries out for mercy, love and acceptance; resting in the assurance that there is a loving God who cares about me and those who have been so affected by all this. I know that there is a God of grace, grace not only for me but all peoples, even those that I may think are undeserving of God’s grace.

I find myself turning to prayer, asking God for strength to get through this, asking for God’s help not only for myself but for all those who are walking along with me through this nightmare. I find myself being forced to pray for God’s grace for those who I have much anger against and for whom I by myself can feel no mercy. Yet, I know that it is the same God that we all share, the same God who has grace for all who call upon the name of God, regardless of how I may feel about some of those who call upon God’s grace and mercy.

I believe as the Psalmist that if I cry unto the Lord, that my prayer for relief from my oppressor will occur, the Lord my God shall provide a way for my relief to come, all I have to do is remain faithful and rely on God’s grace.

God has shown God’s presence in the brave and heroic actions of the brave souls who have put their own lives at risk to help those affected by this tragedy. God has shown God’s presence in the many who jam the blood donation centers across this great land to give the gift of life so that some who are badly injured may have life. And in a sense of irony, God has shown God’s mercy in the gentle way that the Washington, D.C. drivers, in the massive traffic jams of yesterday, did not honk horns, make obscene gestures at other drivers and actually allowed cars to merge into traffic lanes. Yes, for those who live in the Washington, D.C. area, this is truly an example of God’s mercy and a very unique and one of a time experiences in this area of constant short tempers, car rage and congestion.

God is present as we continue to continue on, let us pray that God will give us wisdom in the days ahead as we seek justice, not revenge, while showing respect and fairness to all.

How long, O Lord, will you look on? Rescue me from their ravages, my life from the lions! Then I will thank you in the great congregation; in the mighty throng I will praise you.

Do not let my treacherous enemies rejoice over me, or those who hate me without cause wink the eye. For they do not speak peace, but they conceive deceitful words against those who are quiet in the land. They open wide their mouths against me; they say, "Aha, Aha, our eyes have seen it."

You have seen, O Lord; do not be silent! O Lord, do not be far from me! Wake up! Bestir yourself for my defense, for my cause, my God and my Lord! Vindicate me, O Lord, my God, according to your righteousness, and do not let them rejoice over me. Do not let them say to themselves, "Aha, we have our heart's desire." Do not let them say, "We have swallowed you up."

Let all those who rejoice at my calamity be put to shame and confusion; let those who exalt themselves against me be clothed with shame and dishonor.

Let those who desire my vindication shout for joy and be glad, and say evermore, "Great is the Lord, who delights in the welfare of his servant." [NRSV]